Forget "If You Can't Say Something Nice..." Try These 7 Conversation Starters Instead

I'm going to start this blog with the two most important disclaimer words in the whole entire world: No offense. That disclaimer means that you cannot take offense at anything that I write here, so if you continue reading and start to feel upset or get the crazy-eyes, just stop it. You've been warned... 

Can we PLEASE for the love of macaroni stop writing these "# of things you should never say to _____" blog posts? They are crazy. Makes me think, hmmm... This person is easily offended. And crabby. And really doesn't like people very much. I see these blog posts on a daily basis from bloggers in many niches, and I really don't 'get' them anymore. 

When I was a new(er) mom, I did care about what other people thought about me, and it bothered me when someone would make an off-hand remark at the grocery store or at church because I was still learning the ropes. I wasn't entirely secure in my decisions. Now that I've hit my groove in this whole parenthood thing, I just don't care anymore about what that curious (well-meaning? hopefully?) old lady meant by her comment regarding my one and only child needing a sibling. Because you know what? WHO CARES?! I certainly don't anymore. So why should I allow her comments to bother me? 

I have control over my words, my actions, and my reactions. You have control over your words, your actions, and your reactions. Let's not make social situations even more difficult than they already are these days over meaningless garbage, ok? Ok. 

Now onto the things that I wish people WOULD say to me (loud and proud and often!) - but only if they want to... 

If you MUST comment - 

  • About my only child: "Hey, I see you have one child instead of a bajillion. She's smart, polite, and freakin' adorable. Way to go, mama!" 
  • About my style: "It's ok that you have a few wrinkles in your shirt. At least it's clean! Now let's go eat some tacos and shop at Target." 
  • About my career goals: "You're a full-time mom? More like full-time AWESOME!" 
  • About true friendship: "Whaaa? You like Taco Bell and @midnight? We should totally be best friends. And you don't have to text me every day or put a lot of effort into this friendship because I know we are both super busy being awesome." Done. 
  • About homeschool: "Oh, you homeschool your kid? You must really care about her education. I totally support that." 
  • About my worth: "I love you and I appreciate you." 
  • And finally - most importantly - about my age: "But you don't look 30!" 

Andddd....

If you want to tell me that my child needs a sibling, or that I shouldn't waste my college education by sitting at home eating bon bons with my socially inept homeschool freak... You can say that, too. But I know the truth, and the truth is -- my life is good. Really really good. 

It all boils down to this: It's not my job to play thought police, and frankly, I have too much going on in my life to linger on inappropriate comments - even the REALLY obvious rude ones from people that should know better. So yeah. 

I am not perfect, and I don't expect you to be, either. Now let's go grab some tacos (but only if you are wearing a clean shirt, because I can only handle so much ick in one day). 

What about you? What do you wish people would say to you more often?