This is a typical day in the Bradshaw household:
Wake up and give Danger hugs. We discuss how we slept the previous night and how much we missed each other. (Which apparently was a LOT.)
Figure out what day of the week it is, and give Danger the appropriate number of pills to chew. (She has a medical condition that requires her to take daily pills.)
Read a book and snuggle on the couch for a few minutes to give her medicine time to kick in before she eats.
Fix Danger's breakfast. Make sure it has a good mix of nutrients (the kid is vegan.)
Remind her that she needs to go to the potty, and then clean up the mess that she's made.
Play with dolls for a while.
Realize that I have not eaten anything yet, so I grab a pre-made Starbucks Mocha beverage from the fridge and chug it while checking e-mails. No time to prepare a real meal because Danger is upset about something.
After much whining and exasperation, I finally give in and paint Danger's nails, fix her hair, change her into a "pretty" dress...
Snuggle some more on the couch, and do a little bit of homeschooling.
Respond to as many e-mails as I can before Danger wants to play with me again.
Fix her lunch. Make sure it has a good variety of food groups. Do a quick grocery inventory and create a list of items we need to pick up at our next trip to Costco or Publix.
Pick up around the house while she eats. (If I don't do it this way, she follows me around discovering toys - and things that look like toys - to pull out and play with). Scrub down anything that needs to be cleaned, take out the trash, vacuum the carpet... You get the idea.
Wash dishes by hand because our landlords will not fix our dishwasher. It's been well over a year at this point since it went haywire.
Throw a load of laundry into the washing machine.
Watch Max & Ruby / Peppa Pig / Olivia with Danger per her
demand request. Try to sneak in e-mails, news reading, and networking without her noticing.
Take her outside for some fresh air and sunshine, and because by this point, I'm ready to pull my hair out. (Keep in mind, toddlers talk a LOT).
Come back inside and read another book, play with some more toys, realize that I have not had ANY food today, but it is too close to Dre' coming home from work for me to sneak something in and not ruin my dinner.
Sit down and try to write a blog post, but cannot hit the "Publish" button because it just.isn't.quite.right. The toddler is screaming about her nail polish being chipped or a small juice stain on her pretty dress... Take a deep breath (or ten.)
Realize the house is just as messy as it was before I started cleaning and that I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer.
Throw my hands up in desperation.
Practice piano with Danger (which is more like banging at this point, but I am glad to say that at least she's gotten the idea that it's better to bang at the keys with one finger at a time. Progress, right?)
Dre' gets home with dinner and we eat together. I complain about my day, listen to him complain about his day, and then we get ready for bed.
I tuck Danger in with a flashlight and favorite blablas.
Sneak off to the bedroom, watch too many episodes of Pretty Little Liars and fight sleep (because this is MY time alone, dangit!)
Finally drift off to sleep, wake and repeat.
So the next time I'm hanging out with friends or family that have "real" jobs, and that are discussing how exhausted they are from working SO hard... and then have the audacity to ask me the very condescending question: What do you do all day?
I think I'll just smile and say, "I get to spend the entire day reliving my childhood with my very favorite person in the whole wide world." Why not make them jealous? :)