Sweet Sunday

Dear Baby,

I've loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you - that little flicker of a heartbeat dancing across the ultrasound screen and straight into my heart. I've nourished you with my body, my breasts, my spirit, in the hopes of giving you the healthiest start in life.

I've sung songs to you, comforted you, played with you, all the while hoping that in some way, I am educating you about how to depend only on yourself when you are older. I've captured memories on camera, and I've written down even the mundane parts of life on your very own weblog so that you can look back at your early years and know that your parents love you always.

But as I've done these many things that are expected of a parent, I have overlooked the many things that you have done for me, and that is something that I am very ashamed of. Let me reflect on just a few of them now.

While I was enamored by your image, you were teaching me how to live a healthier life. You helped me give up so many bad things that very easily could have taken years off of my life.

While I nourish your growth with breastmilk, you protect me from breast and ovarian cancers. You make me be still, and you give me time to just simply be present in the moment, which is a very rare thing to find in this chaotic, messy world.

While I sing to you, comfort you, and play with you, you teach me patience and understanding, both traits that I really needed help with. I can better identify with others because you have taught me how to better deal with my self.

When I write down the many milestones and adventures of your life, it is not only for your benefit, either. It helps me to keep the memories of days past fresh in my mind so that I never forget the many things that we have done together and the ways that we both have grown so much.

Baby, I promise that I will always try to learn from the things that you teach me. Your pure heart and generous spirit encourage me daily to be the type of mother that you deserve. I pray that I will be the mother that you deserve, sweet baby.

Your loving mother always,

Autumn