Singled Out! Our Decision To Have One Child Confuses Just About Everyone

atlanta-botanical-garden-daffodils It seems that all good things come in 'threes' these days – long weekends, B2GO free deals, and… children. So just how do you stand your ground and appreciate the one you’ve got while everyone else is multiplying? 

For my husband and I, it’s pretty simple. When we got married 7 years ago, we had already made the decision to not have any children. Of course our plans, dreams and ambitions changed when our daughter came along - as they should. But as much as we love our precious little girl, we simply do not want to pop out any more kids.

Our friends and family members are aiming high, and most say that they want three children! I always ask why because I am curious - and yes, a little bit astonished. The reasoning? To have playmates for siblings, to get a certain wanted gender, to be pregnant and raise another child from birth again, um, newborns are cute (Can't really argue with that one ;) 

When we tell people that our baby-making factories will be closed indefinitely, this draws cries of outrage and protest. “Autumn, you’re being selfish! Danger needs a playmate,” has been thrown at me on more than one occasion. Ever heard of friends?! I do not need to deliver another baby for my child to have someone to play with. She is lovely and sweet – why wouldn’t other kids want to play with her?

Another argument that people toss at me is that of the dreaded 'only-child syndrome.' I guess I can see how a single child can be spoiled rotten, but again, it’s up to us to raise our daughter the way we see fit. We don’t want our daughter to be a whiny, clingy, non-productive adult – so we’re going to teach her to be independent now.

The focus of any parent should always be to raise competent and industrious children, whether you have one or one hundred. Of course, having multiple children does not guarantee that any of your children will turn out the way you’ve hoped, but it can mean that none of your children turn out that way. Ever heard of sibling influence?

Look, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having multiple children. It’s just not what everyone wants. Let’s save our unsolicited advice for something more important.

How many children do you have? Does anyone ever give you a hard time about your family size?